Still Mourn

Miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Uncharted territory…the feeling’s unknown.
Time has passed.
Yet I still mourn.

Memories engulfing my mind.
Tears gripping my soul.
Wish I could see you,
Reach out and touch you,
Laugh and talk with you.
If it were in my power, you’d still be here.
Fate had other plans.
So the memories keep you near:
Talks about life,
Teachings about God,
Showing me how to be a man.

Playing in the yard,
Working together…
Priceless time spent together.
Life’s changed.
Will never be the same.
Trying to push harder, farther.
Saddened my future kids won’t ever know their grandfather.

In my triumphs, you won’t be there.
In my failures, can’t pick up the phone to call the one who cares.
Understand you’re in a better place.
Doesn’t change how I feel.
Have never felt this way.

Miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Uncharted territory.
This feeling…I’ve never come to know.
Time has passed.
And still, I mourn.

Farther

A father you never try to be.
Instead, you play the role of ‘wanna-be’.
Run away from responsibility.
Lost.
Sorry.
Lazy.
Step up and be a man!
Don’t fold because of the circumstance.
I can’t even call you a father.
You’re always away.
So I call you Farther.

The phone rings. I hope it’s you.
Knocking at the door…it’s never you.
At my games, you’re nowhere to be found.
At graduation, I want to hear ‘THAT’S MY BOY!!!!’
I know I’ll never hear that sound.
You’ve never been around.
Every time I needed you near,
You were doing your own thing on the other side of town.
On my birthday, a card and presents.
The real value would have been in feeling your presence.

Made attempts to get closer
But you pushed me so far…away,
Denting my self-esteem.
Mom couldn’t do everything.
Sometimes, on you, I needed to lean.
The few times I saw you, you demanded Respect?
How dare you expect More when you give Less?
You give me Mediocre and want my Best?

You have taught me to be a man:
Be the opposite of you and I’m well on my way.
I wouldn’t dare call you my father.
Just stay away and I’ll call you Farther.

Addictive Dependence

Frighteningly attached.
Would end my life if detached
From my source of living.
Tremors.
Shakes.
Disoriented.
I received all it was giving.
Satisfaction on high.
Always needed it nigh.

Can’t get it out of my system.
Can’t get it out of my mind.
My body’s calling for me to conduct a Search & Find.
Convulsions.
Hallucinations.
Delusional.
Can’t handle the separation.
Need injections in high concentration
To regain equilibrium.

Said it was taken for granted.
I was too demanding; and
Through it, I lived vicariously…
In love so dangerously.
Searching.
Scratching.
Clawing.
Trying to discover an escape.
The urging will always remain.
It is my addiction.
It is she.
She is my addiction.

Shattered House

Violent
Hunting.
Cunning.
Lurking.
Attacking.
The thief struck at the midnight hour.
Broke the windows. No one heard a sound.
Forced himself inside, infiltrating the property.
Destroyed all he saw, showing no mercy.
Movements were intensive.
Of any resistance, he was dismissive.
Mission would be accomplished. There would be no failing.
He wasn’t fazed by the alarm’s wailing.
As fast as he entered, he left.
The house’s cry turned stealth.
Unrecognizable, she was totally dismantled.

Terrified.
Violated.
Worthless.
Ashamed.
Unsafe.
For self, the house had such disdain.
She was mutilated.
Will never sleep the same.
Won’t ever experience the joy of watching kids play.
Stripped of her being…
Spirit absent from the body.
Scared to reach out, remaining isolated.
Society can’t understand her pain.
Inside, only empty space.
Hidden in a somber place.
In despair’s arms, she lies
Covered by filth she can’t hide.
Nothing can wash it away.

Imprisoned.
Depressed.
Displaced.
Shaken.
Barren.
Will the tears ever stop flowing?
Will she ever stop being scared of sleeping?
Will she ever smile again?
How will she ever live again?

Needed Change

If we can’t look into darkness and shine a light,
Then what’s our purpose?
If we can’t help those in need,
Then what are we here for?
Have to stop worrying about just ourselves & more about our communities.

Violence tearing us apart, becoming gravely phenomenal.

Need to give more attention to our kids,

Creating an environment that’s educational.

Drugs are wilting our people.

Drop-out rates rising,
Teenage pregnancy rates increasing,

Single motherhood inflating,

STD statistics growing.

Gunfire in the streets…men in jail.

No lights to see…sitting on welfare.

No adults at home…children with no care.

Mother working hard…fatherhood won’t dare.

Change: The responsibility is on me, on you.

To push beyond the limit and go over the plateau.
We’re all links in this chain.
Things can’t remain the same.
Be of a sound, higher mind.

Not of a weak mind, but one that’ll revolutionize.

Must find the balance between substance and pizzazz.

Must focus on rising above it all, not the pomp and circumstance.

Improvement is needed in abundance.
Can no longer have a glimmer of reluctance.

So ask yourself:
If I can’t look into darkness and shine a light,
Then what’s my purpose?
If I can’t help those in need,

Then what am I here for?

Exposure

Opening up…

How dare I take the risk?

Cracks in the wall…

I’ll never let you through them.
I tried to open my heart and mind before.
But you never listened, just shut and dead bolted the door
Shutting out my thoughts,
Causing unknown depths of hurt.
My pain is only half of it all.
‘Who’s going to hear my voice?’ was my cry.
Nobody! So I put up walls.
Don’t want to go down that road.
Tired of opening myself, receiving nothing in return.
I was raised to suck it up, not show weakness.
When I tried the opposite, the reaction was nonsense.
My voice goes unheard,
Kept locked inside.
The only responses are echoes,
Ricocheting off the walls that have been erected,
Causing cracks created from being tested.

The cycle continues.
You want me to be open.
I follow suit but you don’t know how to take it,
Because you’ve never experienced one doing that before.
I get frustrated from the result, not wanting to give you anything.
What you want, it sounds good in theory.
But when it comes out, you become contradictory.
What am I to do?

How can I get through to you?

Can’t give you the key to the door.

Too scared of being disclosed.

Euphoria III

Sunset.
Infatuation awakens,
Stalking you.
Goal on its mind: Make your dreams come true.
Caress your lips with mine,
Preparing you for love making until the sun rises.
Rubbing you all over.
Massaging your body, kissing your shoulders.
Your nerves stand at full attention stimulated
As I kiss the catalyst, your tender place.

Your sounds are high pitch.
I’m down low, moving feverishly.
Catching the secretions of your fruit
As they’re rapidly perfusing.
All control, I lose.
I’m exploring like there’s treasure lost
That will be found no matter the cost.
No need for the blueprint. Throw it away.
I’ve done my homework. I know the way
To ecstasy’s cove
As I feel you shake and twitch,
Prompting me to speed the tempo,
Initiating the beginning of the closing show.

From ground zero to cloud nine.
Turning the ignition fast
Starting the fire of explosions that will blow your mind…
Take your breath…
Make you feel what you’ve never felt:
Unbridled passion
Reached only in fervor’s fashion.
Continuing to fly among the stars in the sky
At the peak of ‘So High’
As we ride the influx of two souls consummating solidarity.
Journeying into the fervor of unity.

Patiently allowing this juncture to reach its flavor,

Letting it savor as we saturate in this euphoria.

Constant Pursuit

Reached inside.
Touched a place she didn’t know was there.
Wasn’t satisfied with touching my destination.
Wanted to enter and learn its composition.
Mold it and establish my position
As her lover, friend, and man…
Giving her something greater than
Any of the previous.
Only wished she could see the obvious:
That I’ll value her like one of a kind.
Love her like I’ve fallen for the very first time.

Passion, fire, and desire can be our sequence.
If only she’ll open the door and see the evidence:
That she thought I was on clearance,
Never bothered to look at the price tag
To see that my heart is priceless
With love for her that has the lifespan of timeless.
My actions aren’t predatory.
If love blossoms, I want it to be the greatest story.

I’ll make the ultimate sacrifice,
Lay everything on the line
To show her that I loved her before I entered time
And will love her, even after the passing of time.
I’ll try to defy the odds,
Turning them in my favor.
I’ll pursue her like it’s my last chance at life,
Chase her like air I need to keep from dying…
To open her eyes and make her see
That her heart belongs to me.

Death Sentence

Rushed in unprepared.
Using protection…he didn’t dare.
Never bothered to check her status.
Since that night, she’s been on hiatus.
Phone calls go unanswered.
Ask her friends…they don’t know her whereabouts.

Feeling sick, he says ‘It’s nothing.’
Taking no advice…won’t go to the doctor.
In the bathroom, he feels the heat.
No appetite. Can’t even eat.
Looking in the mirror, his stature’s not right.
Now lives in obscurity, hides from the light.

Finally checks himself in.
Scared of what may be within.
Doctor walks in. He feels the tension.
Receives the diagnosis. It’s a death sentence.
He can’t think, like his mind is in prison…
Only his conscience asking, ‘To me, why didn’t you listen?’

Rushed in unprepared.
Using protection? He didn’t care!
Should’ve checked her status.
In the midst of his hormonal aggression,
Never bothered to reach in his wallet to grab protection.
Thought he would be a ‘man’ and ‘keep it real.’
Said that, everything, he wanted to feel.
Didn’t act with extreme caution.
He can’t move…heart is frozen.
Ignorance was the solitary reason
His reflection spoke volumes: DEATH SENTENCE.

In My Dreams

I could’ve sworn I’d seen her before.
Her beauty was so engaging that I couldn’t ignore.
Was hypnotized by her walk as her hips swayed.
She was amazing. She was flawless.
She was in a class with just her, and no one else.
Something about her lit up this place.
I didn’t know how, but I wanted to penetrate her space.
Thought about talking to her, but I was nervous. I was afraid
That she wouldn’t give me the time of day,
That she wouldn’t bother to listen to what I had to say.
So I just watched her from the other end of the floor.
Thought she had a man from her constant texting on her cell phone.
The more I looked at her, the more familiar she became.
Trying to figure out where I knew her from was driving me insane.
I watched as guys asked her to dance and got turned down.
As I walked over to her, my nerves had my head spinning around and around.
I asked if I could take a seat, and she said ‘Yes.’
We exchanged pleasantries and conversed.
Automatically, my mind went into reverse
As I looked at her lips because they looked as if I had already kissed them a thousand times,
And as I looked into her eyes because it seemed as if our eyes had met plenty under the moonlight,
And as I looked at her hands because they looked like the same hands that constantly visit me through the night.
I then looked at all my surroundings and my vision came in clear view.
I started to get a sense of déjà vu.
I figured it out…this was the girl of my dreams.
The one who I see every night I go to sleep.
Fantasy became my reality.
Suddenly, I felt a chill come over me.

We talked and talked…things went so smooth…I would’ve never guessed
That she was as interested in me as I was in her.
She said the thing that stopped her from approaching was nerves.
Said that the more she looked at me the more familiar I became
And that trying to figure out where she knew me from was driving her insane…
That she saw me staring at her and hoped I would come near.
As I walked over, she said her vision became crystal clear.
Then she grabbed my hand and squeezed it,
Told me that on every night she feels this.
She looked into my eyes. Said they made her feel warm inside.
She didn’t know it, but I knew everything about her.
So I proceeded to ask her did she like taking long walks along the beach,
And did she love gazing at the stars she hoped to reach?
She said ‘Yes!’ as the tension started to increase.
You couldn’t help but notice the chemistry.

On the nights I was dreaming of her, she was dreaming of me too!
When I was thinking about her, she was thinking about me too!
We were loving each other simultaneously
In a love that was only a theory,
Drowning in each other’s ecstasy,
Soaring above the climax of intimacy.
A love so strong that the earth stood still,
Time everlasting…never having an ending,
Opening something in me I never knew I had.
My need for love brought to the surface.
Been so long since I allowed myself to feel,
Only allowing it to escape in my dreams.
Now my dream was staring me in the face.

Heart beating fast, about to jump out of my chest.
I jumped up, left…because I had to get out of this place
Breath slowly slipping away…
Life, gradually passing away…
I was starting to hyperventilate.
Not knowing she was behind me, she wrapped her arms around me
And told me not to run, not to fear…
That what we have is no façade, but very real…
Not to worry about the past, no more wounds.
She asked if I believed in love at first sight.
I said, ‘No, because we meet every night.
Though I’ve never had you, I’ve always had you.
Though I’ve never touched you, I’ve always touched you.
Even though you’ve never been in my life, you’ve always been there.
I’ve never known for dreams to come true
Until this night, when I met you.’

We kissed as rain begin to fall from the sky,
Covering the tears falling from both our eyes…
Kisses passionate, soft and tender
The moment I told her and she told me ‘I surrender.’

Euphoria II

Eyes meeting…teasing.
Hands touching, gripping.
Nibbling on your ear, whispering sweet somethings…
Caressing your special place, pressing your ‘button’.
Your temperature rising.
Body’s signs can’t hide it.
Let your G-spot be my hiding place.
Inhibitions passing away,
Discovering the depths of your ocean,
Chasing the high of your potion.

Admission free.
Enter into fantasyland.
Endure the heat.
Temperature intensifying to inferno,
Rising so high that it can’t fall below.
Journeying to heights unknown
That’s penetrating, untaming…
Becoming sweltering.
Ice melting.
Body steaming.
Sweat beading.
Lips glistening.
Bed rocking loudly.
Walls shaking violently.

Secrets unveiled.
Exploring each crevice, touching every detail.
Don’t care who hears.
Energy exerted is sincere…
Characteristics transforming.
Love like never before: revolutionary,
Embarrassing the ordinary.
Screaming so loud that it’s shaming.
My name is your oratory.

Uncaged actions magnifying
To the vertex of passion.
Climbing the mountain of Pinnacle.
Sights unseen…on the level of Miracle
As we ride the influx of two souls consummating solidarity.
Journeying into the fervor of unity.

Patiently allowing this juncture to reach its flavor,

Letting it savor as we saturate in this euphoria.

Open Your Eyes

I pleaded for an opportunity,
But you kept me thirsty.
I begged you for knowledge,
But you kept me starving,
Making my mind impoverished,
Intellect malnourished,
Spirit emaciated.
Didn’t even bother to throw me crumbs.

Sign said ‘I will work for it.’
But you didn’t give me a second thought.
The force of your neglect pushing me back in my cardboard box.

Tired of being molded by the University of Hard Knocks.
I’m holding out my cup.
My ambition…you block.
Can I get a penny? Dime? Nickel?
I’m trying to pen my story.
You keep erasing me like a pencil,
Wiping me on the floor so I can get swept into the system.

Stop conforming and start blowing your whistle
On all men created equal
But each man’s opportunities different.
I’m right here. You don’t have to find me.
My cup is empty.
How can I fill it?
I don’t need a silent dollar.
I need some noise-making Change!

If I have no vision, how can I see?
When all I’ve done is collect losses, how can I win?
How can this caged bird fly if you always clip my wings?
Without knowledge, my thoughts can’t be profound.
Always in quicksand…can’t walk on solid ground.
How can I get up if you always knock me down?

From Father to Daughter

This poem is something I wrote for my sister today. I felt this is what my dad would say today if he was here to speak to my sister on her wedding day.

My firstborn:
To be your dad, I’m so proud and honored.
You have been all I could ever ask for in child.
I watched you grow from childhood to adulthood.
I tried to be the best dad that I could.
You’ve grown to be a beautiful woman.
But you will always be my little girl.

I know you will make a great wife.
I know your marriage will endure the test of time.
I trust Mavi with you.
In my heart, I know that he’ll be a great husband to you.
May God continuously be with you in this new chapter.
I hope that it’s all you’ve dreamed of and more.

I know I’m not able to be there physically,
But in your heart, I reside spiritually.
So don’t feel sad that I’m not able to walk you down the aisle.
I’ll be watching from Heaven above, with a big smile…abundantly proud…
Knowing that, today, my little girl is the world’s most beautiful bride.

Virtuous Patience

Good things are worth waiting.
So I’m practicing patience,
Hoping to discover her virtuous nature,
Trying to make her my culture.
Of her heart’s language, I want to be the translator
On her soul’s search, I want to be her compass and her treasure.
Want to be the dew on her blades of grass,
The answer before she asks…
The seconds, minutes, hours of her day.
Want to be the painter of her smile throughout the day,
For it’s my masterpiece.
Of her love, I want to be the recipe
So my words can satisfy her appetite.

When she feels my strength,
She’ll never know she was weak.
In the midst of her frustrations,
I’ll be her spirit’s levitation.
In her rush, I’ll be her patience.
I’ll dry her tears before they fall.
Before she dials, I’ll answer the call.
I’ll be her cool Autumn that follows her Summers,
The warm Spring after her Winters.
In her chaos, I’ll be her serenity.
Don’t know how long she’ll keep me waiting.
If she exists, maybe she’ll reveal her existence.
But I continue practicing patience…
Hoping to, one day, entrap her virtuous nature.

Want My Own

Being on the scene is no longer appealing.
Sleeping around is no longer fulfilling.
Hanging around the guys…it’s fun but something is missing.
No more wasting money, buying drinks.
No more one-liners or baseless compliments.
No longer will I allow my bullsh!t to cover my eyes.
I’ve thrown it out the window. I’ve dismissed it.
Leaving the hurts and frustrations in the past…will no longer allow it
to characterize me.
Used to question it,
But now I’m ready for commitment.

I want my own.
Tired of carrying out reruns of the same show.
When I’ve looked for it, I’ve looked in the wrong places.
When I’ve waited for it, things have gone at a snail’s pace.
Want no more situations where I’m pretending.
Want to say those three precious words and it actually have meaning.
Want to feel refreshed when I hear that voice.
Even invite the arguments to enjoy making up afterwards.
When I’m struggling, I want ‘her’ to pick me up.
When I’m going through, I want to lie in ‘her’ arms and not always have to be tough.
Want to feel that distinct touch that has its own signature.
Want ‘her’ to be the axis on which my world spins around.
Want ‘her’ to know that I want ‘her’ to hold me down.
‘She’ doesn’t need to build me, but accept me.
‘She’ doesn’t need to change me, but enhance me.
Give me something whose foundation stands on trust and truth…
Something that’s strong and endures
The test of time.

Man wasn’t made to live alone.
My prize, where can it be found?
I refuse to pick a number and be an option.
No more converting simple things into rocket science.
I want my own.
I’m ready for ‘her’ to step in.
I’m prepared for ‘her’…ready to be ‘her’ man.
Tired of congratulating others on their findings.
Behind my smile, I’m tired of hiding.

Dilemma

My heart races when I see you,
But you don’t know it.
I get weak in my knees when I’m near you,
But you don’t notice it.
I get nervous when I talk to you,
But I don’t show it.
I dream about you,
I crave you more each day.
It puts me in a trance when I see your face.
Your voice is my pulse’s song.
Your smile just increases how much I yearn.
I tell my friends about you…just referring to you as ‘this girl’.
I tell them that I have never met anyone like ‘this girl’.
I tell them I badly want ‘this girl’.
I want you to be the centerpiece of my world.
All these things, you don’t know.
So many things, I don’t know if you will ever know.

In my dreams, we have had the perfect date,
We have traveled to many places,
I’ve seen you from every angle.
You are my assigned angel.
In my mind, I have already touched you.
In my mind, I have already made love to you…
Confirming the hidden love I have for you.
I want to ask your friends about you,
But I don’t want to give anything away.
If only I knew the right words to say
To make you see me on the inside
So I won’t have to keep this trapped inside.
In bliss with you, is where I want to be.
I want to give you the best of me.
How to make it happen? I don’t know.
Do you even want to know?
What can I do to show it?
I don’t know how long I can suppress it.
For so long I’ve been keeping it in.
I can see it in your eyes.
I’m scared to make my move because I don’t know what you’re thinking.
Don’t want to step out and fall on my face.
Don’t want to reveal my feelings and feel ashamed.

Walking Away/Why Should I Stay?

Him:

I’m sorry, but I have to end our friendship.
It’s so hard, but I know I must do this.
I enjoy the time we spend together.
Lately, we have grown closer than close.
Our phone conversations are becoming longer than most.
Ending this, never crossed my mind
Until the moment your lips reached out and touched mine.
When I look into your eyes, I can tell you want to be with me.
It becomes evident when you want to take trips with me.
Believe me, you are very much my type.
When it comes to my dream girl, you are the prototype.

The thing that always holds me back
Is the fact that we’re from different sides of the track.
I may not meet your family’s expectations.
It may seem irrelevant, but it’s a critical revelation.
I can’t begin to touch your background.
Your parents may look down at my background.
We are from two totally different places.
I know love has no prejudice, but its courage that I’m chasing.
The road to your heart, I would like to travel.
But I know the chase will cause me to unravel.
I don’t want our love to carry any baggage.
I don’t want love to face things that will run it ragged.
I don’t want you to be hurt. Now I’m in a Catch-22.
Either way, it’s gonna cause pain to you.
So my decision is to walk away.
With your credentials, you can find a great guy any day.
You know my reasons are real.
I wonder why, for each other, we had to feel.
So today, I am walking away.
Just know that in my heart, you will always stay.
How to keep me from leaving? It’s only one thing I can say…
Tell me why I should stay.


Her:

Baby, you should stay because of your love for me & my love for you.
You know there isn’t anything else on this Earth that’s so true.
I know I can easily meet any other.
But no one compares to you. You’re like none other.
True, there are some things we’d have to fight through.
And I know that love conquers all. I’ll go through any battle with you.
I don’t care what the trial may be.
I don’t care what my family thinks.
I gotta do what’s best for me.
Love is blind and pure.
Through anything, I know we’ll endure.
This is the first time in my life I have been sure.
I kissed you that night
My love for you turned definite from a might.
Today I want you.
Tomorrow I need you.
Forever more, I want to be with you.
Let’s just make it happen and focus on this.
I refuse to lose you over some ignorant politics.
If I come to you, will you let me in?
As I stand at the beginning of my lifeline, are you on the other end?
Having you is the key to everything.
If my heart talked, would you listen?
If you were the star upon I wished, would it make you twinkle?
If only I could gaze into your eyes and whisper,
“It’s my heart that’s standing in need.”
It’s the reason why I’m on my knees begging you please.
One good reason why you should stay?
Love is the reason. Just embrace it, never leave, and stay.

Love

You crave for it, even when it’s not gone.
At all times, it gives you strength to carry on.
It turns heavy burdens to being light.
Even in the darkest hole, it’s a bright light.
It’s said to be abstract,
But you better believe it’s concrete
Because you feel it, see it every time it’s near.

Some of us say we want it.
But don’t know how to treat it.
It’s a gift from the Heavens above.
This precious thing is what we call Love.

For it’s not a want, but a need.
It’s essential if anything is to succeed.
Just to utter its name, one must be so bold,
Because it comes from depths of the soul.
It makes you fly like a bird, though you’re grounded.
Some search a lifetime and still can’t find it.

If love stared you in the face,
Could you see it in your sight?
If it started to take control of you,
Would you put up a fight?
If love whispered your name,
Would you pay attention and listen?
Or, would you ignore it
And keep hoping, praying, and wishing?

Defining Moment

Your defining moment.
Do you remember what it was?
What was it that showed you all you were made of?
Your vision was no longer cloudy.
You stopped looking for things that couldn’t be found.
Gained newfound strength...no longer felt weak.
Stopped being someone else…only focused on being ‘me’.
Had more security in ‘me’.
Believed more in ‘me’.
Invested more in ‘me’.
Told the world “This is me!
Love me or hate me,
It doesn’t bother me!”
Sold out for ‘me’.
Of your life, you finally took ownership.
When did you stop treating life like a game?
When did you say ‘moving forward, my life will never be the same’?
Decided to stop settling for being mediocre and started shooting for championships.
Sun started shining brighter.
Life’s burdens became lighter
Because you decided to stand up and be a fighter.
You transformed and started sowing good seed,
Allowing hope to rain down. And a great harvest, you reaped.
No more standing around because you took control,
Realized that the reflection you see is who you owe.
It was something different about your ambiance.
It was something like an epiphany and a Renaissance.

It may have been big…may have been small.
Either way, you were no longer scared to fall.
Let go of the weight of the world.
Was no longer scared to step on the scale.
Understood you had to press on and tip the scales
In your favor so you could fly.
Embraced your talents, your abilities.
Refined your skills. Harnessed your capabilities.
Your shining moment. Your defining moment.
Stopped letting anything else define you
Because you took ownership and decided to write your own definition
And tell YOUR story YOUR way,
In your style…in first person.
No need for someone else to observe and pen it in third person.

Your life.
Your struggle.
Your wins.
Your losses.
Your ups.
And your downs.
Your moment. Your defining moment.
Stopped letting anything or anyone else define you
Because you took ownership and decided to write your own definition

Believe In Love

Someone asked me if I believe in love.

I said, "I don’t believe in society’s love that’s figurative
But in real love, from the core, that’s literal…
Not the love that is a rendition,
Nor the love that needs to be petitioned.
I told her I was waiting for love that was more than a situation,
For a love that’s above the standard, creating love’s new translation.
I’ve seen love that’s unwilling.
I’ve experienced love that’s unfulfilling.

I want love that will engulf me in total consumption.
I want love in totality, with no assumptions.
I’m not searching. I want it to find me.
Need it to embrace me,
Reveal things to me
And show me that it’s not temporary,
But when it and my soul collaborate, it will create history…
Putting me in the Hall of Fame
Because I reached the pinnacle of love & love’s the one to blame
When it entered my life, playing no silly games.
In chaos, love, be my peace.
When frustrated, ease my mind. Soothe me.
Show me I’m priceless, exceeding all costs.
When I can’t find my way, find me when I’m lost.

I believe in love, but don’t need it to be superficial.
Only capture me when it’s emotional, physical, mental, spiritual.
I want love to step out of fantasy
And infuse itself in my reality.
Seizing my hopes and dreams,
Not afraid to surrender, how about me, it feels.
Right now, I’m not standing in desperate need.
But in my pit, I am hungry
For something so spectacular,
Encompassing everything that it is.
No more dead-end situations. No more conflictions.
I need love to be my new addiction.
I relinquish any previous retaliations,
Opening my soul…releasing all afflictions.
So yes, in love, I do believe,
Shown by my heart’s words that it’s ready to receive.”

Pushed

6 months.
24 weeks.
180 days.
4,320 hours.
Tried not do any reflecting.
But it’s necessary…can’t help it.
Life has been so ugly.
I’ve been tested, been tried
In ways that I’ve been tested never before.
Received piercing words I thought I would never hear.
Lost those who were so near
To my heart. Actually, they were in the center.
Left me ripped to shreds, slashed me apart.
Each day, felt as if I carried the world’s weight.
There were many questions.
I had no answers.
Many problems.
I had no solutions.
Emotionally exhausted.
Spiritually tested.
I slowly drifted to rock bottom.
Couldn’t really share because no one would comprehend
The magnitude of the matter.
I was being pushed to the end.

Perfect Timing

Was not by chance
Wasn’t by happenstance
That two souls merged as one.
The stars were instructed to align at this moment
Bridging the gap...bringing you together.

Was not a coincidence.
Just look at the evidence
Of the time it entered your life.
Been dreaming of it through the night.
It trespassed on your territory. You didn’t have to fight.

Time ordained that this would be so
Because Fate said it's time for this story to be seen and heard.
Shhhh!…listen to the heartbeats. They're synchronizing, playing the same song.
Affection was once gone. It’s here again,
Spreading its wings like an eagle, ready to fly.

You’re in the midst of the circumstance.
It’s up to you to make it last.
The swim to destiny is a long one.
On the way, it’s possible you may not be strong enough,
But you will never know until you try.

Was not by chance.
Treat it as if it’s the final chance
To reach the apex and go the distance.
At this time, these events were meant to transpire.
Time is of the essence and it’s all yours.

Emancipation

Sitting in silence,
The feeling is bittersweet and, simultaneously, vibrant.
This was a new day.
Leaning back, she gazed at the turning blades on the ceiling fan,
Closed her eyes, and ‘reminisced’:


Flashbacked to the sound that could be heard around the house.
Never knew that would be the start.
He hit her, and she didn’t know the reason.
There NEVER is one. She couldn’t describe the feeling.
Figured it would be OK…just needed some healing.

He apologized. Said he would never let
His emotions overtake him like that again.
Said he lost his cool
And wanted to do all he could to make it up
Because he acted a fool.

Remembered when he later put his hands around her neck.
Though she won’t admit it,
That night, she thought she was dead.
No longer understood what was going through his head.
Yet, she didn’t heed the warning and looked for better instead.

But the havoc never ceased.
He fell short on his promise
Because, his emotions, he failed to halt.
She knew she needed to get out of the situation.
However, the kids made things complicated.

His response to her feelings was indifferent…
Continued to put on an abusive clinic.
But she believed it would be different, keeping one eye on the present
With the other on the future…
Looking beyond the fact that it was all a fading picture.

She recalled the exact time she lost her sense of identity,
And the times she beat herself up plenty.
Years ago she lost her self-respect.
Zero in return is what she came to expect.
Could find no more reasons why she kept giving her best.

Threw her hands up, close to giving up from becoming a shell of herself.
Even her shadow forgot who she was.
The pain was deepened from seeing the tears in her children’s eyes,
When they asked her, ‘Why
Does Daddy treat her that way?’…taking her spirit to the brink of dying.


Papers in front of her, needing her signature.
They would emancipate her.
She would have her freedom.
She could finally sign because her kids are old enough to understand.
She’s now ready to leave the past behind and live again.

Under The Radar

Never been flashy or garnered much attention.
Never gotten all the hype or grandeur.
I’ll have it no other way.
I have my blinders on, trying to run my race
To reach the finish line of Success,
Living in fear because Failure is out of the question.
No pain, no gain.
No struggle, no progress.
No cross, no crown.
Many get caught up in the hype.
I just try to thicken my substance.
Try to live by Christ, try to live right.
Don’t have to put on a show to publicize
What I’m all about.
My actions will do the verbalizing.
How dare I let my tongue villanize?
I refuse to be stopped by anything or anyone.
Some people, had to put them asunder
Now they call and I don’t even recognize their number.
So I’ll continue to live my life in stealth, flying under the radar.
No matter what, trust me, I will get far.

Don’t be fooled. Confidence may be hidden, but it’s at its peak.
So if I walk past you and don’t speak,
Please don’t mind me.
I’m on the grind, trying to beat the deadline the world has given me.
Chips on my shoulders?
Used to be until they transformed into boulders.
Don’t mistake my kindness for a weakness.
I just kill them softly. Take a seat and witness
Greatness you have yet to see,
That’s about to come into existence because I speak it…
Not just by the words of my mouth…I believe it.
It’s my drug, and I fiend for it.
It’s my future bride, and I’ve fallen for it.
It’s food to my soul. So I hunger for it.
You’re sleeping on an untapped resource.
You keep on passing me by and ignoring.
Just know that when I’m on top, it will be flooring.
When I reach the pinnacle of Successful,
The next stop will be Impeccable,
Where you can’t judge me by a dollar sign…
Sitting in a place where you have to respect my mind.
Or call it my mine.
Diamonds you will find…
The fruits of my creative lab,
Combining chemicals chemists wished they had.
So, world, at your own risk: Continue to judge this book by its cover!
And I’ll keep doing my thing: flying under the radar.

Untitled

On the highway, driving home for Thanksgiving,
A voice said, “This may be the last time you see him. So take advantage
of it.”
I shook it off, not trying to think negative thoughts
Or go back to the day the doctor said the cancer had spread to his lungs.

Prayed before getting out of the car; then walked into the house.
He didn’t look well while lying on the couch.
Said he was feeling weak, not feeling quite right.
I thought, “He’s having a bad day. Everything will be alright.”

Thanksgiving, everyone enjoying the festivities.
He still didn’t look right. It had me concerned; I couldn’t eat.
The doctor in the family said he was dehydrated.
I figured that’s why he was so disoriented.

To the hospital we go so he can get some fluids.
They said they would keep him overnight…
At most, maybe only a few days.
But he knew what no one else knew: he would never leave that place.

Still staying positive.
By the hour, he seemed more responsive.
He was having good days.
I kept praying, believing everything would be OK.

So I decided to go back to Alabama that Sunday.
Before I left, he smiled and said “I love you, Son!”
I smiled back and said, “I love you too, Daddy!”
Hugged him, having no idea those would be the last words I’d hear from him.

Tuesday morning on a call to my uncle,
Who usually sounds strong; but today he sounded funny.
I asked, “Do I need to come in?”
His response: “That may be the best thing.”

At work, I couldn’t control that moment and I cried.
Reality was starting to be realized.
“I gotta go.”… is what I told my clerk.
“I’m getting my things, and I’m going home.”

In my apartment, I started packing.
Was constantly talking to God to keep from cracking.
I did something I didn’t want to do:
Had to reach in my closet, grabbing my black suit.

Made it to the hospital in good spirits.
Went in the room, my dad had totally diminished.
At that moment, it was only a matter of time.
Asked God to let me view this through His eyes and not mine.

Doctor said, “It could be hours, days, or weeks.”
Inside, I knew Death’s angel was coming with his fleet.
So for the next 10 hours, I got my composure…
Hearing what he always told me my whole life, “Look out for your sisters.”

Felt his body. It was like ice.
He made his peace with God, no longer putting up a fight.
So I told him things I’d never told him before,
Like “I love you more than anything, and you’re my #1.”

It was tough, in the waiting room, waiting for his life to end.
But I knew he was going to a better place than
This life we live here on this Earth.
All I could think was “Ashes to ashes…dust to dust.”

Instantly, I went to being ‘The Man’.
I pondered, “How can I live up to him? He was such a great man.”
God whispered, “You’ve been prepared.
Lean on me. You won’t fail.”

Never in my life, had I felt so much pressure.
Then again, never thought I would lose a parent so young.
They say, all wounds, time will heal.
That remains to be seen. But I’ll do what my dad always told me, “Just keep on living.”

Synergy

Almost fell for you at first sight.
In my life, it wasn’t the right time,
But something about it felt right.
I was magnetized by your energy.
Began the very moment you smiled at me.

It was something about you. You were so different.
It was nothing short of refreshing.
Couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
You invaded my desert and became my oasis,
Quenching my thirst for something sustaining.

My energy is renewed.
I study you like I’m in school,
Wanting to know all there is to know,
Wanting to push the right buttons…
Have a touch that is golden.

I learn you. You learn me.
We can talk for hours, maybe share secrets.
Or not talk at all…just feeling the magnetic pull from you to me.
Doing it with ease. There’s no pressure.
Engaging in each other’s worlds is the only pleasure.

Know you’ve been hurt by your past.
Believe me. It stops here. It no longer lasts.
Leave them where they are. I’ll replenish you.
Treat you right. Cherish you.
Appreciate you. Value you.

We’ve both been waiting for a moment like this.
Let’s reach out, embrace it, and mold it.
If you’re the instrument and I’m the musician, then why can’t we create music?
If you’re the script and I’m the actor, then why can’t we make theater?
If you’re the pen and I’m the writer, then why can’t we write a story?

Just open your eyes and see
That you can have all it’s meant to be.
Grab my hand. Trust me.
I’ll lean on you. You lean on me.
Doing it the way we should, forging our own synergy.

Mirage II

She doesn’t come to hear me speak.
It’s not done purposefully.
She’s tired from work. It keeps her busy.

She wasn’t there when my parent’s passed.
I understand she’s not a ‘funeral person’ and can’t stand them.

I know she was at his house.
They’re business partners.
It’s been that way through the years. That’s what that was all about.

I’m in love with her.
She’s in love with me.
We’re just in a valley right now and will soon be back on top again.

Who am I kidding?
We’re going through the motions.
Amnesic to the last time when there were some real emotions.
Standing stagnant in a terminal condition,
The ‘love’ has turned into a complication.
Expressing feelings have become nothing more than obligation.
Can’t remember the last time I picked up the phone
To call and say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’.
Currently, we’re in separate bedrooms.

So quiet in this house, you can hear a pin drop.
Wish I knew what to do. I’m so lost.
Said ‘I do’ and thousands it cost
Me; and now it’s nothing more than a loss
Because ‘we’ are no longer a factor.
Hate to be in her presence. I spite her.

What happened? I heard no sirens.
Checked the radar…received no warning
Of the hurricane coming through
That would drain and take me through
Pain every time I look at these papers.
Have looked at them countless times, and it doesn’t get any better.
Turned a blind eye to the signs & now I’m paying for it later.
Tell my family that everything is fine.
They don’t know that the child is really not mine.
Tired of lying to myself,
Acting like nothing has happened.
She doesn’t know that I know; thinks she’s executed deceit in great fashion.
Don’t want to face my broken heart.
My embedded anguish…on her, I take it out.
In too deep,
I’m too weak.
Don’t want to deal with my soul that’s dark.
So I continue to live in a mirage.

Mirage

These bruises on my face didn’t come from him hating me.
He’s under a lot of pressure, and he’s frustrated.

He’s not thinking when he calls me a b*tch.
He doesn’t mean it when he calls me an embarrassment and stupid.

I know he was at her house.
He was taking care of some business.
Yeah, I’m sure that’s what that was all about.

He loves me.
I love him.
We’re just going through some things.

Who am I kidding?
We’re just going through the motions.
Amnesic to the last time when there were some real emotions.
Standing stagnant in a terminal condition,
The ‘love’ is nothing but an exhibition.
Exchanging feelings have become pure protocol.
We no longer pick-up the phone to call.
In separate bedrooms…he’s now down the hall.

So quiet at home, you can hear a pin drop.
Don’t know what to do. I’m so lost.
Said ‘I do’ and was willing to pay the costs.
Now I’ve been thrown away, been tossed
In a corner because I’m no longer a factor.
Self-respect…I’m trying to capture.

What happened? I heard no sirens.
Checked the radar…received no warning
Of the hurricane coming through
That would drain my soul and take me through.
Pain from looking at these wedding pictures.
Didn’t bother to see the signs & rushed into it.
Tell my family that everything is fine.
I’m fed up with all the lies.
Tired of lying to myself,
Trying to make something when nothing is there.
Don’t want to face my broken heart.
So I continue to live in a mirage.

The Cycle Continues

Heroin….mom and dad shooting up.
Every hour of the day, it seems they’re f*cked up,
Riding the waves of their high.
Many days, they have no lights.
Can’t sleep because of gunshots or noise from street fights.
Unknowing, the teacher wonders why he underachieves.
Can’t understand why he doesn’t have hope and can’t believe.
Whatever is his talent, he keeps it in.
Truth be told, he thinks he won’t make it too far pass his age of 15.
School is the only get-a-away.
For those few hours, he can cast his fears away.

Parents tell him he’ll be like them…
Say he’ll never be sh!t.
They snip his wings,
Killing the seed of his hopes and dreams.
Being a doctor, was once an aspiration.
Now he’s on the street corner, forehead with beads of perspiration,
Hoping the cops won’t see him,
Wishing no one tries to murder him.
One pocket full of weed,
The other with some crack rock.
He thinks to himself, “Gotta get it how I can.”

WHEN WILL THE CYCLE END?

Oblivious

Have to be conscious of how much I’m nice.
Of how many times I make you smile, I must be mindful.
Have to walk on eggshells when it comes to how much I’m respectful.
You can’t take anything in the category of normal.
Only acceptable of what’s abnormal
Because that’s your normality.
You don’t want to be #1, just another’s casualty.
Enjoy the fact they fuck you over time and time again.
You claim you want different, but continue to have ‘Another Again’
But it goes in reverse.
Talk the talk of wanting to reach the pinnacle.
But yet, you persistently chase the perverse.
Step to me like I’m blind….seriously???
Think I want to go on that ride…really????
And you wonder why you attract a certain type.
It’s because you walk in the dark.
You’ve learned to settle for less; now you can’t treat me right.
Yeah, I got my flaws and all.
But I won’t throw that weight on you so it’ll lead to your downfall.

You think it’s cool, but it ain’t.
Excuse my vernacular, but shit ain’t copasetic.
When it comes to realness, I know you haven’t had it.
Why you’re adverse to it? I can’t fathom.
You say you don’t play, but you’re executing the game,
Thinking I will trip and fall lame
To the silly reasons you’re giving trying to explain
The basis of your actions.
Don’t apply to me what you do to others.
So with my focus, I’ll do a retraction.
You can’t appreciate the appreciation someone has for you.
You can’t value the high value I place on you.
You can’t like the that fact that someone actually likes you for you,
Has interest in you, and wants to get to know you.
But you’re wide open for a parasite,
Allowing yourself to be sucked dry.
You embrace the leech,
The very one who uses you and cheats.
So it’s a wash.
I’m no longer attempting to exhibit and convince you of the obvious.
It’s your obligation to stop being ignorant and oblivious.

Head of Houshold?

He thought he was head of household.
‘I’m a man.’ Started to grow old.
When business needed to be handled, he never did it.
When the yard needed mowing, he never tended to it.
Was lazy on the job. Didn’t care he was about to lose it.
Instead of making sure he paid the bills,
Was only concerned with the size of his rims.
The tables slowly turned and she was the breadwinner.
His thoughts of being a man had no weight.
Became lazy and sorry. Became a quitter.

Trouble entered home and he ignored it.
Trials occurred and he ran from it.
Thought she was just bitching,
Never realizing being the man he thought he was never materialized.
Just another example of bad reaping bad.
And wonders why his son ain’t worth a damn.
Gets mad when his daughters choose the wrong guys.
Talked it.
Was too weak to walk it.
Mouth wrote many checks.
Ass could never cash them.
Wanted the title but wasn’t willing to work for it.
Wanted the name but couldn’t vouch for it.
Didn’t learn that if you have to boisterous, trying to make it known,
The title is not something you own.

Broken

She shivered from hearing the creaking of the door.
Was stripped of her innocence. Knew she would find it no more.
He had been drinking…was out of his mind.
When he entered the room, she knew it was that time
To experience what kept her awake every night.
Her body taken, then taken advantage of.
Being forced to take what no little girl should.
Her mom heard her shriek.
Never bothered to help because it was a ‘secret’.
Anyone would be fooled with the look of her smile.
Not knowing her life was essentially taken with his vicious style.
She knew it wasn’t normal but didn’t know what to do.
So her world stayed bruised, stayed blue.
Self-esteem, it hit rock bottom.
Trying to hold-on to childhood, she didn’t bother.
Could no longer see a future
Because she no longer looked farther.
Life forever damaged by the derangement of her father.

Left or Right?

Standing at a crossroads…path divided.
Left or right? I don’t know.
Either way, I’ll be chided.
I could go left, the easy route….never feel any scorn.
Do what others want me to do…conform.
Falling in line, never dreaming, & never feeling reborn.
When the sky is supposed be my limit,
I find comfort; and my dreams…never pursue them.
Allowing the world to stall my mind,
Separate my thoughts putting them in solitary confinement.
I look to the hills from which cometh my help.
Help can’t find me because I’ve put my light on stealth.

But I choose to go right,
With all my goals in clear sight.
Not many friends around because I chose not to follow the ‘in-crowd’.
In spite of, I still shine my light…
Giving it my all and fighting all the necessary fights.
Sky’s the limit; and I refuse to be in any other place.
The hell with the skies, I’m shooting for outer space.
I’m not greedy. I just never get complacent.
Progression & growth are the only goals
And it’s all about advancement.
If I went the other way, would never be able to forgive
Myself because I never pushed my full potential
Or never paid attention to my conscious, never listened.
Don’t have time for the corrupted nature and abuse of this society.
Don’t have time for the simple, feeble mind.
So I let them hate and roll their eyes,
Let them falsely analyze and criticize.
Say I’ve changed and that I’ve sold out.
Because I refused to settle for less; chose to push for something much more,
Something better in this life we live.

Nice Guy

Will take a night’s walk, showing you sky’s stars,
Letting you know how they’re indicative of what you are.
Go old school, asking you, ‘Do you like me?

Yes, No, or Maybe So…Circle one.'

Intentionally leave you voicemail messages,

Letting you know you’re my #1.
Will love you like I still don’t have you
And love you like I’m scared of losing you…

Like it’s only you in my life and no one else.

The answer to your concerns and cares.

The bravery to your fears.

Now matter how the seasons may change,

I’ll always show you how my love doesn’t stay the same.

Constantly growing, maturing.

Rising higher, enduring.

Satisfying you is my fetish.

What we have, I’ll always cherish.
Treat you like a woman should:
Special…incredible.
In me, there’s no dead chivalry.
Seek me and you will find all it’s meant to be.

But, you went for the hype.
Never wanted the true story.
Didn’t bother to read between the lines to see that it’s all a façade,
Hiding their insecurities…
Masking their idiosyncrasies.
I’m not hating.
I’m just stating
The facts you seem to turn a blind eye
To, while you take the proverbial black eye
To your life, to your self-esteem.
So damaged that you can’t stand.
Always trying to find something on which you can lean
Because you’ve continuously allowed yourself to be exploited,
Falling for the silly ‘game’ when it’s all child’s play and they’re toying
With you and your character.
When you look in the mirror,
You forget the reflection you see is the main factor.
Say you want full-time.
But always gravitate towards part-time.

You get taught the lesson
But never try to do any learning,
Spewing the fuel needed for the cycle to continue.
Maybe that’s why you can’t see the good I try to bring.
I know it’s dark and shallow in there.
So I shine my light to brighten and fill you up…
Trying to show I’m not the same mess-up.
Why can’t you see the obvious?
Put your bags down; let go of the previous.
I’m not a user.
Don’t have a goal of being your conqueror.
You label me ‘nice guy’ like it’s bad.
Push me to the side to chase the trash you’ve always had.
What you say you want is staring you the face.
When you’re exposed to it, you seem to run away.
I’m not gonna chase you…trying to find you.
Fact is, I’m a real man & don’t need you.
Just label me a ‘good guy’.
Get at me when you grow up and want something real in your life.

My Cry

My cry was so loud, but you didn’t hear.
Your mind was over there with him.
But, your shell was right here.
I didn’t realize I had lost you.
Only tried to get your attention.
Just proved to be unsuccessful…
I have to rid myself of this tension.

I heard the rumors.
Trusted you. Thought there was nothing to them.
All the nights you had to ‘work late’,
My thoughts never hesitated.
Looking back, it was around that time
When you started pulling away. You were no longer mine.
Like a fool, I was ignorant to the fact
That you betrayed me.
So cold that you never looked back
To see my torn soul left in pieces.
I don’t know you no more. Don’t know what this is.
Many letdowns, so many broken promises.
Becoming selfish, no more compromises.
Stranger, don’t you hear my wailing?
Does it not bother you that we’re failing?
How could have I have been so stupid, so aloof?
I wish I had never loved you.

In The Gap

I’m stuck in the gap.
Stuck between failure and success
The gap between hate and love;
Hot and cold;
Happy and sad;
Confusion and clarity;
Up and down;
I’m stuck between sunshine and rain,
Second and minute,
Minute and hour,
Moving and being still,
Living and dying,
Depression and gregarious,
Dark and light,
Actually and might,
Stoic and crying.
I’m in that space we sometimes find ourselves in.
You can’t explain it, but you feel it deep within.
You don’t understand the complexity.
Trying hard not to let it overtake me.

I’ve lost my father.
Seems like I’m losing the other too.
At times I feel so lost…
Swear I don’t know what to do.
New status in this world has been attained.
I didn’t want it now. Cancer is the one to blame.
It took a big part of me.
Half-light, half-dark days are all I see.
Since that day, things will never be the same.
Win some, lose some.
And I’ve lost a big one.
Things shifted so dramatically.
Takes everything within me to not question.
It’s a major adjustment.
ONLY by God’s will is my testament.

When It Hit

When it hit, I cried.
After it all happened, I cried.
When the dust settled, it was so much turmoil I could see.
My family had been stripped from me.
Home wasn't home no more.
Mom wasn’t mom no more.
Dad wasn’t dad no more.
I was searching for answers, looking for someone to blame.
This wasn't part of the game.
It got so bad that I was scared to ask
About anything because I didn’t know what I would find.
Mountain peak to valley low,
I knew they were getting bad, just thought they would break through.
I could feel the pain they both felt.
I had so much in me that I kept
All inside because no one cared about me.
Never asked about me and my feelings…
Just poured theirs on me, taking me from feeling to having no feeling.
When it happened, I cried.
When it hit, I cried.
Just that fast,
My life change forever
Never felt so low, so stripped.
Now I'm just trying bounce back and make the best of this.

I Thee Wed

Waking up to you every morning serves as my motivation.
Every second, you encompass my dedication.
When you think I can’t give anymore,
I will find the will to give you more
Until I have life no more.
I’ll go to the ends of the earth
Showing you your worth.
I feel secure as long as you’re near.
When I have just a mere
Thought of you, it sends me racing.
Every part of me, you have taken.
It didn’t take long for me to come to the realization
That you were the one for me. It was an instant revelation.
When you have troubles, I promise to put them at ease.
Without you, I’m lost. It’s like I can’t breathe.
Love, I never knew if I’d find
Until I found you…love epitomized.
I’m honored to call you mine.

My yesterday, today and tomorrow.
My beginning, middle, and end.
My sunrise, my sunset.
My push from good to best.
At night, you’re my starry skies.
You’re the journal where all my secrets hide.
My ocean view at dawn.
When I rise above, you are the cause.
You’re the essence of my imagination.
You’re the calm of my frustrations.
Everything when I have nothing.
My something when I’m nothing.
You’re the reflection of a flower in spring time.
You’re the treasure some search a lifetime and still don’t find.

Today, as we stand in front of friends and family,
Beginning a new chapter to our story,
On the cusp of creating our own history,
I will love, respect, and honor you....
Cherish you for the rest of my days.
So with this ring, I thee wed.
With my heart, I thee wed.
With my soul, I thee wed.
With my life, I thee wed.

Love Touched Me

Love touched me, but I didn’t react.
I felt it but never really did feel it.
It had been so long since it last revealed itself to me.
When it looked me in the eye, I didn’t know what to think.
Maybe when I felt it, it didn’t touch me that deep.
I realized that if love’s going to entrap me,
I need it to be deeper than deep.
I don’t need love to just make me happy.
I need it to see the wounds the world has given me,
See the damage the hurt & pain has brought me,
Notice my trust that’s non-existent.
In my heart’s song, I need it to be my lyrics.
Love, hug me…we haven’t done it in years.
Repair my soul that’s been damaged by my tears.
Perform surgery and fix the wounds.
Show me that you’re real and I can trust you.
Make me come to you because I’m scared.
Open that door. Show me someone truly cares.
I want you…don’t know how to take that step.
If I make mistakes, it’s because I’m trying to make no missteps.
Deeper is the needed frequency.
No more just meeting the status quo.
Give it all to me, even more.
When you touched me, I’m sorry I didn’t react.
I just have to trust that when I get you, you’re not going back.

The Moment

I’m embracing the moment, because the moment is you.
I know he’s created the walls you have.
No matter how tall, I plan to come through.
He damaged you, corrupted you.
He dimmed your light. Now it won’t shine through.
Although you don’t see it,
I see the better part of you.
I’m not asking for love. I just want to know
You, talk to you, let it flow.
How much longer are you gonna suffer?
Let me stand in the gap & be the buffer.
Actually, let me be the destroyer
Of present skepticism,
Erasing past criticisms.
You’re a beautiful butterfly.
Just spread your wings & in my atmosphere, you can fly.
I will take you from downtrodden to sensational.
In me is where you will find the creations of your imagination.
What used to be, you won’t remember.
When you see his face, it’ll be like you have amnesia.
You’ll have no more memories, no more fears
Because I’ve made your house my home,
And a new life, a new world resides here.

A Woman

What is it about a man
That he will find ways to devalue a woman,
Not realizing She will give him all She can?
Gives a car all of his attention.
When talking to his friends, Her name won’t even be mentioned.
He forgets the times She did the carrying.
Absent-minded of when he had trials, She was the only one caring.
When he was broke and the bills were late,
The words out of Her mouth were ‘I got it, Baby.’
But he still runs the streets to no avail…
Out chasing these vices, kicking it with demons of hell.
When he’s hit his ceiling, She somehow lifts him another level.
Always got his back, any time he gets in trouble.
Though She gets tired of his shit,
She still puts up with his bullshit.

She’s his gift, but he becomes Her curse.
She tries to override it, but he finds ways to make it worse.
Wants things on his terms; and Her terms….he ignores.
Pushes Her to the side
To go out and hang with the guys.
Continues to have other women on the side.
Never focuses on what he has because of his venturing eyes.
Her tears, She keeps inside.
Her hurt remains disguised.
How is it forgotten that She came from his side?
Never said anything about the seed of Her creation being pulled from behind.
She’s not separate, but a part of his being
Birthed from a portion of his body.
So She thrives when he lets Her inside.
She wants to be inside because inside is Her home.
Love, respect, and responsibility are the factors that catalyze
The reaction between two souls, bridging them as one.
But this, he fails to learn.
He loves Her less than he hurts Her.
How would it be if it were vice versa?

Believe

I was drowning, because I couldn’t breathe.
He said, “All you have to do is believe.
I gave you dominion over land and sea.
I gave you dominion over every beast.
Reach out your hand and believe.
Believe on the One who hung between two thieves.
Believe on the One who saved you from sin.
Believe and reach Heaven, where life never ends.
I’ve been with you every step of the way.
You no longer have to stray.
My child, you are greatness.
You are greatness because you were made by the Greatest.
Stand-up can claim who you are, what you are…a child of God.”
And as I wept, I reached out. He picked me up.
And, together, we walker over the flood waters from my stuff.
I never knew it would be so easy…
For His yolk is easy.
This I came to see, the very hour I believed.

Destiny

Destiny said this is where we’re supposed to be…
Happy, love in sweet harmony.
When you had fears,
I reached inside your heart, removed them, putting them on me
Telling you to lean on me.
Every time I’m away from you it’s like torture.
It’s like I’m dying on the inside. I can’t flourish.
Initially, I was in denial.
I didn’t embrace this spectacle
Of fireworks taking place
Between two individuals constantly rising to new levels,
Rising above the average, the normal,
Showing that it’s more than institutional,
That it blows away the flirtations of the shallow mind
Because spiritually, you are mine…
Physically, you are mine.
Mentally, you are mine.
Our chemistry is fine
Art, one many spend a lifetime trying to find.
We’ve broken the barriers of limitations…
Never falling, soaring above the highest elevations.
For we’re not plural, but singular…
One body, one mind, one soul.
As a heart to the body, you are critical.
You’re so amazing, it’s as if you’re mythical.
Because you’re my goddess.
I can honestly say I have the best,
And that’s the truest truth
Since I’ve come to know love because I’ve come to know you.
Our love will never expire.
When you cry, I’ll hold you at the midnight hour…
Showering you with love, causing your flower to bloom
So beautiful, showing your bright colors.
Even if I had the choice, I would choose no other.
All that you are, I can’t begin to list.
In my life, you’re the spark…you’re the catalyst
To me being a better man.
I’m now better than
I once was.
I’ve grown because
Not only do I want you in my life,
I want you for a lifetime.
Even after time has ticked its last tock,
What I feel for you will live…won’t die…never stop.

Reconvene

You want me.
I want you.
But when we come together, all we do is stupid things.
I don’t know what it means.
Maybe we need to part.
And in due time…reconvene.

You love me.
I love you.
When we make love, I’m in the sky…can touch the moon.
However, we always seem to put each through
The petty things that falsify things so true.
I don’t want to be mean.
Maybe we need to part.
And in due time…reconvene.

You yearn for me.
I yearn for you.
But every time we try to make it happen, something goes wrong
Like someone hit repeat…we’re singing the same tired old song.
I’m trying to figure out what it means.
Maybe we need to part.
And in due time…reconvene.

You need me.
I need you.
But, love can’t quite be love if we can’t do right.
We have too many arguments, too many fights.
We are better than this.
Can’t continue to go on like this.
Maybe we need to part…
Live a little bit and learn…
Try to figure out, if together, we can endure.
Our feelings, I’m not in denial.
Reality is slowly falling.
I will miss you.
You will miss me.
We just need to figure it out,
See what this really means.
And when the time is right…reconvene.

Greater

Been all alone, just me and no one else.
Been secluded, but now I’ve found myself.
When together, she thought she made me.
When we parted, she said things would fall apart for me
Because she was the reason.
Better yet, she thought she was the season.
She was wrong…this I knew.
What I found was old, but I thought it was new.
Experiencing her bullshit just put it in clear view.
I gave up so much of who I am
Trying to help her discover what she had inside.
Neglected family and friends, giving her all my time.
She thought she left me fucked up,
But now I’m back and it’s eternally my time to shine.
Saw her the other day. It had been awhile.
She saw me. Her jaw dropped a mile.
I spoke because I didn’t want to be rude.
Mystified by the sight of what she wanted, I went my way
Leaving stupidity’s look upon her face.
She thought I would fall and hurl,
Thought she was the only girl.
She thought she ran me over, leaving me for dead…
Thinking she had brought me to my end.
However, like the phoenix I rose again.
Instantaneously, she realized that she lost because she saw all that I am.
Didn’t appreciate what she had
Until all the other guys viewed her as just a piece of ass they had to have.
I’m not bitter, but I get the last laugh.
Not because of who I am. It’s because of what I am.
‘Thank you’ is all I have to say to my instructor
For helping me to see that I’m greater.

Thank You (what I wrote on behalf of my sisters and I for my dad's funeral in Dec. 2008)

From birth, you’ve always been there
Providing, protecting us…giving us your fatherly care.
When things got rough,
You gave strength and courage.
In whatever we strived to do,
You supplied undying support.
You did all you could and refused to do less,
Exhausting every resource to set us up for success.
No matter what, you were always there by our side.
In times of being lost, you stepped in to be our guide.
Our love for you has no definition.
No matter how many words, we can’t find an explanation.
It’s unconditional…said with no hesitation.
Nothing can deny our connection.
There are no doubts, no questions.

This is a day we never hoped to see.
But you’ve fought your fight and it’s time for you to crossover to eternity.
You did what God wanted…needed to do no more.
Now you’ve stepped out of time, walking through Heaven’s door.
He has you now and we know you have eternal peace.
Missing you will never go away.
All of the memories, in our hearts are where they will stay.
If we want to see you, we just have to look in the mirror.
If we want to hear your voice, we just have to close our eyes and listen.
Embedded in our lives, are all the lessons
Of the life you lived, of your impression.
‘As water reflects the face, so a man’s heart reflects the man’
Your heart encompassed greatness and reflected a great man.

So we thank you for everything.
We thank you for giving us all we needed.
We thank you for fulfilling your role as a father.
We thank you for pushing harder, pushing us farther.
We thank God for the time we had you
We’ll forever love and miss you…


Kimberly Simon, Sabrina Simon, Sherry Courtney, & Marcus Simon

Wedding Poem (I wrote this for a friend of mine)

Today is a confirmation of our new beginning
Of a love that is eternal, everlasting, and never-ending.
Taking your hand in Holy matrimony.
For the rest of our lives, you’ll be my one & only.
You’ve captured my soul.
In me, you’ve entrapped love.
When I look into your eyes,
I see the biggest part of me.
I searched for a long time.
Now, in you, I’ve found the missing pieces.
I’ve come to find out what love is all about.
It’s coming home to my angel after a long day’s work.
It’s, together, feeling happy and hurt…
Going through the ups and downs…
Picking up each other when one is down…
Kissing your lips and it never getting old.
If someone tries to hurt you,
I wish they would be so bold.

I need you so much.
I need you like a star needs its twinkle.
I need you like the sun needs its shine.
I need you like a heart needs its beat.
For my love for you is filled to capacity.
When it comes to my ability to love you, I have more than the propensity.
I’ll love you until the end of my life.
I’ll love you until the end of time.
You came and filled this empty space.
Don’t want to be anywhere else, in no other place.
Through it all, I promise I will
Be everything you want and need me to be.
Your best friend, your sunny days…I promise.
Your calm in the midst of storm, your strength when you’re weak…I promise.
Your arms of comfort, your smile when you frown…I promise.
All that I can possibly be…I promise.

The whole world can go against me. It won’t matter.
Having you in my life is the only factor.
I don’t want to live on this earth without you.
I’d rather die alone than be without you.
For better or for worse,
Til death do us part,
My love will always be there.
I’m ready to pass any test.
At all times, you will get my best.
As I place your hand upon my chest,
Just feel my heart’s vibes
Telling you that in your hands & in your aura is where it thrives.

Relationship, Where Are You?

You’re non-existent. That’s stating the obvious.
Of your presence, I have become amnesic.
In your strongest times, you were greatly appreciated…given much respect.
Used to be in high demand, now most will take anything less.
You’ve lost it, and you’re no longer together.
Crept out the back door. Left us with your stepbrother.
Your name used to carry a high standard. Had longevity and would grow old.
Now most want you the way they like their clothes.
We get a skeleton of you…
Something filled with hurtful lies,
Becoming a crime for one to tell the truth.
I thought one day, again, we’d meet.
But I don’t want a taste of you if you’re going to cheat me and waste my time, or
Try to run me over because you think I’m blind.
At some point, you lost your meaning.
What we have now is like h'ordeurves and it’s teasing
The heart and soul.
Many have lost confidence in you because you’ve become so cold.
People sacrifice and lay in it on the line to obtain your name.
After obtaining, it becomes a hindrance and drains
All feelings and emotions…enough to make you not want to go back.
Would rather be alone than continue with the lack
Of integrity and prosperity in what should be you.
Forgot how you look. Don’t even know you.

The little things have become a lost art.
Everyone tries to be a leech and shoot for the stars
At another’s expense.
Trying to get all they can get and leave you dry.
Then say ‘I love you’ with a sly smile.
Deceit has been allowed to creep in.
Everything is so abstract…no more looking within.
No one attempts to capture the mental.
Have become too obsessed with the physical.
No more ‘we’, but the attitude is ‘me’.
What is ‘us’ when it’s an ‘I’ in my team?
Been infiltrated with complacency and comfort.
Have to look in the mirror to get any glimpse of support.

Where have you been hiding?
Who damaged you, threw you
Away. Is Respect and Trust there too?
What about Honesty and Monogamy?
How can I find you so I can abide in
And epitomize what you used to be?
Many are tired of the flame-outs and the weightless flings.
The world needs you again.
Lost love needs something to believe in.

What Are You Going To Do?

What are you going to do when that moment comes?
What are you going to do when it presents itself?
The interview you’ve been preparing for.
The test you’ve been studying for.
The goal you’ve been shooting for.
It’s the moment in life you’ve been waiting for.
Worked hard.
Trained hard.
Was willing to go to any length, no matter how far.
When many said no, you said yes.
When they tried to hold you back,
You kept pressing forward.
When the path got dark,
You were encouraged you would see light.
Knew one day the spotlight would be on you
And it’d be your time to shine.

Now, that moment has drawn near.
Before you know it, it will be right here.
The hard work, it’s time for it to pay off.
You’ve done the practice.
All options have been exhausted.
You say you’ve been waiting all your life.
Now it is that time.
Now that the moment is here,
What are you going to do?

When you’re in it, are you going to live it?
Or will you fold in its existence and cheat it?
No more mocking.
No more pretending.
No more acting.
No more imagining.
The time is now, and the time is real.
Preparation’s wounds…it’s time for them to heal.
You can’t flinch…not an ounce…not one bit.
Can be no hesitation when the light hits,
Shining in your face.
There’s no running. The world is now your place.
No more questions. Have to be certain.
Can’t crack under the pressure.
The time is now,
And the moment is here.
After all you’ve been through,
What are you going to do?

It's Evident

Don’t know if seeing you today is coincidence.
But again seeing the smile on your face…it’s evident.
At night, I twist and turn with you in my dreams.
In times of trouble, on your shoulders I want to lean.
The way thoughts of you make my heart race,
I often wonder if you’re bad for my health.
It still remains that when we parted, I took my last breath.
I wish there was a way for you to see my heart
So it can tell you how it’s in need for a jumpstart,
Tell you how it hasn’t lived since you’ve been gone,
Tell you how it can’t stand listening to love songs.
Your touch, I miss.
Your smell, I miss.
Your kiss, I miss.
Your arms, I miss.
Your everything, I miss.
I’m trying to hold back the tears,
But they’re just flooding me on the inside;
Because I again feel the power of my compass, of my guide.
I swear I don’t know if see you today is coincidence,
But as I see your beautiful smile again, it’s evident…
I’m still in love with you.

No Reason

Drowning deep in my pain.
Losing my mind. Think I’m going insane.
Stomped over her heart. Pushed her out the door.
I can search forever…will never find her no more.
Only have to look in the mirror for the blame.
Shouldn’t have reacted by calling her that name.
To her feelings, I send my condolences.
Have to man-up and face the consequences.
Tried to control everything, making no concessions.
I was wrong…but it’s too late for that confession.
Reality was realized with the slamming of the door.
She drove off when I reached for the car door.
Wanted to simply apologize.
Told her I would fulfill all her dreams and I lied.
Did nothing to achieve that feat.

When she opened her heart, I thought it was some bull.
I’ve lost my treasure. Now I look like the fool.
Told me I was becoming diluted.
I never listened, only disputed.
Now, I see that she’s right.
Only when it’s over do I have sense enough to fight.
She begged me to fight time and time again.
Knew I was losing her. Was only concerned with my own anguish.
She was bruised and battered. Her spirit was defeated.
Said my love was unconditional, but it was limited.
She pulled away…becoming shy and timid.
Why did I get the disease called complacency?
Why did I stop treating her like a delicacy?
Stopped doing right, being careful.
Became nothing but her emotional abuser.
Forgot the reason we came here for.
Gave what I thought was all I could give
But she wanted, needed more.
Her smile was nothing but a façade,
Covering how she was dying inside.
Never stopped her weeping.
Even when she knew there was no hope, she kept believing.
Caused her feelings to go into recession.
I refused to not be blind and made no intercession,
Further pushing her away.
Gave her no reason to work things out, to stay.

My Renaissance

I can count the friends I’ve lost.
Endless nights I tossed.
I’ve been beaten down, suffered the consequence.
Now I’m changing…going through a Renaissance.
All those times I suffered pain and hurt,
You would have thought I was suffering from a curse.
I got blind and could not see.
No matter how bright, it was always dark.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t generate that jumpstart.
I allowed myself to be used.
Even withstood much abuse.
Times I thought were good, they were nothing like that.
My own family even stabbed me in the back.
I wasn’t living no more.
I was hollow at my core.
Hatred started to seep in.
Thought I had fallen off the deep end.
In spring, my flowers never bloomed.
Over my life, a dark cloud constantly loomed.

‘What do I do?’ was my cry.
How to turn it around? I just turned it over to Christ.
By not initially turning it over to Him, I was wrong.
I didn’t realize that at my weakest, that’s when He’s strong.
He picked me up, turned me around, gave me the vision & strength to carry on.
All my wrongs, He made right.
All my battles, He put up the fight.
All I had to do was turn it over.
And at that moment, He had me covered.
Never quite been the same.
My sun now shines, no matter if it rains.
Satan, had to get far behind.
Though he tries to seek me, God won’t let him find.
I used to think that conquering life was about money and having a big name.
But, it’s in His book where I want my name.
Many friends I have lost.
Endless nights I tossed.
I’ve been at my lowest, suffered the consequence.
Now I’m changing, after taking hold of God, going through my Renaissance.

No Matter

When I close my eyes, you’re my fantasy…
Unveiling the kid in me, you’re my nursery rhyme.
Something so beautiful as you, I can’t believe it.
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve all of this.
Do I love you? My answer never hesitates.
Just being in your presence throws me off, making my heart palpitate.
I feel as if I’m in another world.
My cares aren’t cares no more.
My worries aren’t worries no more.
You’re my calm, my serenity.
Now that I have you, nothing else even matters to me.

No matter where you may be,
Near or far, I will always hear your heart beat.
Nothing can deny this connection.
There are no doubts, no questions.
No playing games. Love is the only impression.
When you entered my life it was
Something different that you added because
I’ve never had one like you before.
Never had anyone that made my knee want to hit the floor,
And confirm this love we have forever more.
Now you encompass my whole atmosphere.
You soothe my fears…making this man feel secure.
Keep loving me totally.
I’ve never been in this place emotionally.
How I feel for you is exceptionally
Deep, going deeper than the deepest depths.
I’ll love you til I have nothing left

No matter where you may be,
Near or far, I will always hear your heart beat
Because your heart is right here with me.
You put it in the palm of my hand when we were last near.
A kissed sealed the fact that it was now mine.
And as flowers bloom under spring’s sunshine,
You have made me blossom.
I thought I knew what love was all about,
But no matter who was in my life, I still had doubts.
Then you stepped out of heaven and walked through my door.
At that moment, my cocoon was bore.
The more you loved me, the more I went through my metamorphosis.
The more you cared, the more it made me want to fly.
The moment you put your heart in my hand,
I completed my transformation from caterpillar to butterfly.

Now my head is in the stratosphere, reaching new heights.
Initially, I didn’t let you in. Now, I no longer fight
The power of our fusion.
I let it enter and use
Me to be the man I always dreamed of being.
From infrastructure to amazing structure, I have been renewed.
My journey is complete now that I have you.

Has Been

I never knew it was an issue or up for question
About us and a relationship when I only want you for first impression,
Being that carnal things were the premise.
Don’t start getting emotional,
Saying you want it to be more than physical.
Yeah, you’re cool and all.
Thing is, for you, I’ll never fall
For, because I only see you for what you have been.
You say you want something real
And what you’ve been…you feel ashamed.
But I only want you for the game
In which we've been engaged.
You come over. We do our thing.
No strings attached. Then you leave.
Never have I wanted you more.
I want nothing more than the revolving door
That has always been.
If you want it no more, then we can be ‘has been’.

How is it for so long, you present yourself as a whore
And then think that I adore
And want to have you levels above our story?
Don’t mean to sound so cruel.
Can do nothing but tell the truth.
No, I’m not wrong for not wanting things to change.
Look in the mirror. You’re the one to blame.
Approached me with what you had in mind.
Said what you wanted wasn’t my mind.
So don’t try to change the game.
It’s not my fault you suddenly want your life to change.
If we can’t continue like we have been,
Then we’re basically a ‘has been.’

Free

I’m tired. I need some rest.
Tired from running, trying to keep up with the rest.
Never do I feel appreciated.
I do all I can to upgrade, but always get depreciated.
I strive at all times to do right, but always do wrong.
Everyday, I hear the same stale song.
I get accused of not wanting to take responsibility.
I get accused of not being ‘what I should be’.
I'm not any good. So I guess I’m all bad.
Society always wants me to work blue collar,
Watering down my working worth of ever working white collar.
I can’t go out for being profiled.
The wrong route…why do I walk that mile?
Am I not steered that way?
I’m doubted before I can be proven.
Even when I think I’m making progress, I’m losing.
They wonder why I’m always stressed, always mad.
When you face constant scrutiny, how can you be glad?

I can’t even feel free
Because I gotta worry about my next worry.
What is the fun in it?
What can be done to break through it?
My girl says I don’t have the ability to be emotional.
If she only knew, I’m on the brink of a breakdown that’s emotional.
I feel; but if I show it, then I’m weak.
If I don’t show it, then I’m hard to be with.
Yes, I hurt and I cry.
It’s just a thing I have to reserve to do in private.
But yet, I’m told to be a man about it.
What the hell does that mean?
You want this, want that. You make it tough.
I give it, but it’s never enough.
I’ve tried and tried to fit this manly perception.
And all it has done is made me realize that it’s just a misconception.
I’m questioned.
I’m diluted.
I’m made out to be absolutely nothing.
No matter what, it doesn’t change.
I have to constantly face the storm and the rain.

So if you were in my shoes,
What direction would you choose?
Since you know so much and tell me what I can’t,
What is a real man?
That is the question I had to ask myself
Because I had to find myself.
I had gotten lost trying to fit what people thought I should be.
I’m not Superman! I’m just me!
All I can do is me.
All I can be is me.
Why can’t this be accepting?
I’m not running from responsibility.
I embrace it because I know my abilities.
But my responsibilities are not to fulfill what you think.
My job is to be my family’s link,
To be a strong figure in the community,
To be a father to my kids,
To provide a life for them better than this.
And you want me to lighten up?
How can I even look up
When you are constantly tearing me down?
Stop suffocating me.
When I can freely be me,
Then I can finally be free.

The Ring

I saw it,
But I ignored it.
We were just out having some fun.
I was out with my boys.
She was out with her girls.
I was looking for her to tell her
Something sweet. And as I looked across the club,
I saw him give her a simple hug.
It was an ex of hers,
But I paid it no mind because I’m secure.
I wanted to make her smile
So I went and whispered in her ear, ‘Without you, I have no life.”
Her face became red as I told her, ‘I always want to be your man.’
A slow jam played, and I held her close as we danced.
Then she and her crew left to go get something to eat…so they said.
So when I got home, why did I find her and her ex in my bed?

As my mind was in rewind,
Before she left the club, she told me, ‘I love you’, followed by a kiss. Was that to make me blind?
I trusted her fully.
I didn’t ever think she would do this to me.
I could go on and on about how good I was.
It doesn’t mean anything because
How can you just mangle a heart that way?
How can morals be so easily thrown away?
Plenty times, I could have done the same…never did it.
I have had many temptations. Did I do them? I didn’t.
I thought back to what I had told her earlier.
I had gotten so mad that I could’ve choked her.
Going off was gonna do what?
She made it obvious she didn’t give a f*ck.
Could I have beaten him? Yes, I could’ve.
But let’s be real…the onus is on her.
He could only do what she allowed him to do.
It was apparent that what happened is what she wanted to do.

In my bed, my world became so thin.
I guess now I have to take back the ring
That I had bought on yesterday to propose to her on this night.
Tonight was supposed be a night full of dreams come true, not my fright night.
Every carat symbolized the years we’d been together…which was five.
What I said to her earlier this night foreshadowed what would be confirmed on this night.
When I saw it,
Maybe shouldn’t have ignored it.
When I saw it,
Maybe I should have asked her about it.
Hindsight is always 20/20…so who knows?
It was bound to happen…I supposed.
I wish I knew how to get up.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t because my body is numb
From the effects of being left in the cold.
I don’t know what else to say. I’m stunned.
Before I stepped out and bought that ring, I wish I had known.

Having You

I’ve watched you for so long,
Wanting to have you here, holding you in these arms.
Never said a word. Never said how I felt.
Never opened my mouth from being too shy.
When I saw you under night’s light,
I was stripped of my air; just had to talk to you on this night.
Please forgive me because I usually don’t do this.
I’m feeling uncomfortable, but you’re worth stepping out of my environment.
Before I go on, I want to tell you I’m no player.
I don’t have so-called game or one-liners.
Outside of the norm, I have manners.

As I look into yours eyes,
I’m starting to unravel,
Starting to become uncovered,
Unable to hide all that is within me.
I’ve waited so long for this chance,
Hoping to make you my life’s slow dance.
Never thought that I could be your kind of guy
Because you deserve one who can give you, show you the world…
One who can provide you with all your wonders.
After many crazy situations and after failed relationships,
I decided to stop selling myself short
And come to you so you can stop selling yourself short.
Creating something so powerful between us.
Something of substance, something we can trust.

A whisper in your ear to make you giddy, make you ooze
Characteristics of true happiness that exudes
Sincerity to the heart…something smooth,
Warm to the soul…causing you to smile involuntarily.
Tell you that you’re extraordinarily
Perfection in my eyes. Give me your heart, your soul.
Reveal depths no one else knows.
I’ll wipe the tears from your cries…
No sheep’s clothing….nothing disguised.
I’m acting on raw emotion.
No words left unsaid, everything out in the open.
I refuse to walk away, leaving
Without your hand in mine.
I know it’s spontaneous and sounds crazy, but it just feels so right.
Let’s fall in love for the first time.
No more playing. No more going in circles.
No more ups and downs. No more roller coasters.
The chemistry is intrinsic.
Promise you it’s worth it.

Though you’re not looking, you want it too…
Wanting to satisfy love’s hunger deep inside of you,
Needing to be set on fire by passion,
Wanting to feel safe & experience compassion.
You had been searching but don’t want to search no more.
It’s staring you in the face. Embrace it…don’t tell me to go.
Won’t strip you for who you are.
Will make you my centerpiece, my star.
I’ll scream it from the mountaintop,
Telling the entire world
Having you is my mission.
I’m chasing you, chasing love and need your permission.
Looking at you I’m looking at my life,
Seen when I first saw you.

More

Don’t know this feeling that I feel.
I can’t quite explain the things that are going through me.
It simplifies my complexities.
It reaches to the ends of my extremities.
I’m starting to smile and not notice it.
It makes me laugh when I don’t feel like doing it.
I’ve never felt this way, never been in this situation.
I don’t know what to call it, but I know it far surpasses infatuation.
I feel free, from feeling like I was bound.
I’m suddenly so high that I don’t know what it is to be down.
I get tingly in places I didn’t know were there.
Unlike my past, this feeling is causing me to care.
It causes me to do in situations I used to ignore.
It makes me go beyond the standard, to push through for more.
My mind is starting to think more, starting to expand.
My imagination now travels to distant lands.
When did this happen? I don’t know.
What caused its start? I wish I had known.
It’s too late for me to ask, because it’s too late for me to prevent.
At some point, I must have let my guard down and let it penetrate my fortress.
My walls, so strong, are starting to fade.
My defense mechanisms have passed away.
At first, it felt funny. It didn’t feel right.
But, now it has me so addicted, that I think about it through the night.
How? It couldn’t have been complicated.
When? I can’t explain it.
It rid me of that old tired feeling, and I feel restored.
I just know that I’ve never felt it before.
And now that I’ve had it, I want it and need it more.