On the highway, driving home for Thanksgiving,
A voice said, “This may be the last time you see him. So take advantage
of it.”
I shook it off, not trying to think negative thoughts
Or go back to the day the doctor said the cancer had spread to his lungs.
Prayed before getting out of the car; then walked into the house.
He didn’t look well while lying on the couch.
Said he was feeling weak, not feeling quite right.
I thought, “He’s having a bad day. Everything will be alright.”
Thanksgiving, everyone enjoying the festivities.
He still didn’t look right. It had me concerned; I couldn’t eat.
The doctor in the family said he was dehydrated.
I figured that’s why he was so disoriented.
To the hospital we go so he can get some fluids.
They said they would keep him overnight…
At most, maybe only a few days.
But he knew what no one else knew: he would never leave that place.
Still staying positive.
By the hour, he seemed more responsive.
He was having good days.
I kept praying, believing everything would be OK.
So I decided to go back to Alabama that Sunday.
Before I left, he smiled and said “I love you, Son!”
I smiled back and said, “I love you too, Daddy!”
Hugged him, having no idea those would be the last words I’d hear from him.
Tuesday morning on a call to my uncle,
Who usually sounds strong; but today he sounded funny.
I asked, “Do I need to come in?”
His response: “That may be the best thing.”
At work, I couldn’t control that moment and I cried.
Reality was starting to be realized.
“I gotta go.”… is what I told my clerk.
“I’m getting my things, and I’m going home.”
In my apartment, I started packing.
Was constantly talking to God to keep from cracking.
I did something I didn’t want to do:
Had to reach in my closet, grabbing my black suit.
Made it to the hospital in good spirits.
Went in the room, my dad had totally diminished.
At that moment, it was only a matter of time.
Asked God to let me view this through His eyes and not mine.
Doctor said, “It could be hours, days, or weeks.”
Inside, I knew Death’s angel was coming with his fleet.
So for the next 10 hours, I got my composure…
Hearing what he always told me my whole life, “Look out for your sisters.”
Felt his body. It was like ice.
He made his peace with God, no longer putting up a fight.
So I told him things I’d never told him before,
Like “I love you more than anything, and you’re my #1.”
It was tough, in the waiting room, waiting for his life to end.
But I knew he was going to a better place than
This life we live here on this Earth.
All I could think was “Ashes to ashes…dust to dust.”
Instantly, I went to being ‘The Man’.
I pondered, “How can I live up to him? He was such a great man.”
God whispered, “You’ve been prepared.
Lean on me. You won’t fail.”
Never in my life, had I felt so much pressure.
Then again, never thought I would lose a parent so young.
They say, all wounds, time will heal.
That remains to be seen. But I’ll do what my dad always told me, “Just keep on living.”
A voice said, “This may be the last time you see him. So take advantage
of it.”
I shook it off, not trying to think negative thoughts
Or go back to the day the doctor said the cancer had spread to his lungs.
Prayed before getting out of the car; then walked into the house.
He didn’t look well while lying on the couch.
Said he was feeling weak, not feeling quite right.
I thought, “He’s having a bad day. Everything will be alright.”
Thanksgiving, everyone enjoying the festivities.
He still didn’t look right. It had me concerned; I couldn’t eat.
The doctor in the family said he was dehydrated.
I figured that’s why he was so disoriented.
To the hospital we go so he can get some fluids.
They said they would keep him overnight…
At most, maybe only a few days.
But he knew what no one else knew: he would never leave that place.
Still staying positive.
By the hour, he seemed more responsive.
He was having good days.
I kept praying, believing everything would be OK.
So I decided to go back to Alabama that Sunday.
Before I left, he smiled and said “I love you, Son!”
I smiled back and said, “I love you too, Daddy!”
Hugged him, having no idea those would be the last words I’d hear from him.
Tuesday morning on a call to my uncle,
Who usually sounds strong; but today he sounded funny.
I asked, “Do I need to come in?”
His response: “That may be the best thing.”
At work, I couldn’t control that moment and I cried.
Reality was starting to be realized.
“I gotta go.”… is what I told my clerk.
“I’m getting my things, and I’m going home.”
In my apartment, I started packing.
Was constantly talking to God to keep from cracking.
I did something I didn’t want to do:
Had to reach in my closet, grabbing my black suit.
Made it to the hospital in good spirits.
Went in the room, my dad had totally diminished.
At that moment, it was only a matter of time.
Asked God to let me view this through His eyes and not mine.
Doctor said, “It could be hours, days, or weeks.”
Inside, I knew Death’s angel was coming with his fleet.
So for the next 10 hours, I got my composure…
Hearing what he always told me my whole life, “Look out for your sisters.”
Felt his body. It was like ice.
He made his peace with God, no longer putting up a fight.
So I told him things I’d never told him before,
Like “I love you more than anything, and you’re my #1.”
It was tough, in the waiting room, waiting for his life to end.
But I knew he was going to a better place than
This life we live here on this Earth.
All I could think was “Ashes to ashes…dust to dust.”
Instantly, I went to being ‘The Man’.
I pondered, “How can I live up to him? He was such a great man.”
God whispered, “You’ve been prepared.
Lean on me. You won’t fail.”
Never in my life, had I felt so much pressure.
Then again, never thought I would lose a parent so young.
They say, all wounds, time will heal.
That remains to be seen. But I’ll do what my dad always told me, “Just keep on living.”
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