Sitting in silence,
The feeling is bittersweet and, simultaneously, vibrant.
This was a new day.
Leaning back, she gazed at the turning blades on the ceiling fan,
Closed her eyes, and ‘reminisced’:
Flashbacked to the sound that could be heard around the house.
Never knew that would be the start.
He hit her, and she didn’t know the reason.
There NEVER is one. She couldn’t describe the feeling.
Figured it would be OK…just needed some healing.
He apologized. Said he would never let
His emotions overtake him like that again.
Said he lost his cool
And wanted to do all he could to make it up
Because he acted a fool.
Remembered when he later put his hands around her neck.
Though she won’t admit it,
That night, she thought she was dead.
No longer understood what was going through his head.
Yet, she didn’t heed the warning and looked for better instead.
But the havoc never ceased.
He fell short on his promise
Because, his emotions, he failed to halt.
She knew she needed to get out of the situation.
However, the kids made things complicated.
His response to her feelings was indifferent…
Continued to put on an abusive clinic.
But she believed it would be different, keeping one eye on the present
With the other on the future…
Looking beyond the fact that it was all a fading picture.
She recalled the exact time she lost her sense of identity,
And the times she beat herself up plenty.
Years ago she lost her self-respect.
Zero in return is what she came to expect.
Could find no more reasons why she kept giving her best.
Threw her hands up, close to giving up from becoming a shell of herself.
Even her shadow forgot who she was.
The pain was deepened from seeing the tears in her children’s eyes,
When they asked her, ‘Why
Does Daddy treat her that way?’…taking her spirit to the brink of dying.
Papers in front of her, needing her signature.
They would emancipate her.
She would have her freedom.
She could finally sign because her kids are old enough to understand.
She’s now ready to leave the past behind and live again.
The feeling is bittersweet and, simultaneously, vibrant.
This was a new day.
Leaning back, she gazed at the turning blades on the ceiling fan,
Closed her eyes, and ‘reminisced’:
Flashbacked to the sound that could be heard around the house.
Never knew that would be the start.
He hit her, and she didn’t know the reason.
There NEVER is one. She couldn’t describe the feeling.
Figured it would be OK…just needed some healing.
He apologized. Said he would never let
His emotions overtake him like that again.
Said he lost his cool
And wanted to do all he could to make it up
Because he acted a fool.
Remembered when he later put his hands around her neck.
Though she won’t admit it,
That night, she thought she was dead.
No longer understood what was going through his head.
Yet, she didn’t heed the warning and looked for better instead.
But the havoc never ceased.
He fell short on his promise
Because, his emotions, he failed to halt.
She knew she needed to get out of the situation.
However, the kids made things complicated.
His response to her feelings was indifferent…
Continued to put on an abusive clinic.
But she believed it would be different, keeping one eye on the present
With the other on the future…
Looking beyond the fact that it was all a fading picture.
She recalled the exact time she lost her sense of identity,
And the times she beat herself up plenty.
Years ago she lost her self-respect.
Zero in return is what she came to expect.
Could find no more reasons why she kept giving her best.
Threw her hands up, close to giving up from becoming a shell of herself.
Even her shadow forgot who she was.
The pain was deepened from seeing the tears in her children’s eyes,
When they asked her, ‘Why
Does Daddy treat her that way?’…taking her spirit to the brink of dying.
Papers in front of her, needing her signature.
They would emancipate her.
She would have her freedom.
She could finally sign because her kids are old enough to understand.
She’s now ready to leave the past behind and live again.
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