Mirage

These bruises on my face didn’t come from him hating me.
He’s under a lot of pressure, and he’s frustrated.

He’s not thinking when he calls me a b*tch.
He doesn’t mean it when he calls me an embarrassment and stupid.

I know he was at her house.
He was taking care of some business.
Yeah, I’m sure that’s what that was all about.

He loves me.
I love him.
We’re just going through some things.

Who am I kidding?
We’re just going through the motions.
Amnesic to the last time when there were some real emotions.
Standing stagnant in a terminal condition,
The ‘love’ is nothing but an exhibition.
Exchanging feelings have become pure protocol.
We no longer pick-up the phone to call.
In separate bedrooms…he’s now down the hall.

So quiet at home, you can hear a pin drop.
Don’t know what to do. I’m so lost.
Said ‘I do’ and was willing to pay the costs.
Now I’ve been thrown away, been tossed
In a corner because I’m no longer a factor.
Self-respect…I’m trying to capture.

What happened? I heard no sirens.
Checked the radar…received no warning
Of the hurricane coming through
That would drain my soul and take me through.
Pain from looking at these wedding pictures.
Didn’t bother to see the signs & rushed into it.
Tell my family that everything is fine.
I’m fed up with all the lies.
Tired of lying to myself,
Trying to make something when nothing is there.
Don’t want to face my broken heart.
So I continue to live in a mirage.